How to Get Girls With Bad Boy Attitude, and Nice Guy Style

Published: 16th November 2006
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It's a classic topic of conversation for guys: What kind of men do women want, nice guys or bad boys? An interesting statistic tells us just what kind of personality women want in men. A survey by found that 38% of women prefer nice guys, 15% prefer bad guys, and 34% prefer a blend of both.

Did you hear that last number? A good 1/3 of women don't want guys who are 100% good or 100% bad. 34% want a guy who's got a little good, and a little bad, in him. The good part in him makes him treat her well and shower her with affection; the bad part in him makes him exciting, dangerous, and powerful. Fortunately, mixing some bad parts with your good side isn't that difficult. It requires positive changes that will change the way you look, feel, and talk to women.

Nice guys can learn a few things from bastards. The reason many women shy away from guys who seem too nice is that they don't want a guy who'll be submissive, clingy, and dependent. They don't want a guy they can walk all over. Nice guys often treat a woman with such politeness that she can't imagine him ravaging her on her office desk. Nodding patiently, going out of your way to impress them, backing off when someone treats you inappropriately: these are the things most girls just can't stand. You're acting like you're less than them, and there's just no challenge there.

Remember, you don't want to give women higher status than you. The reason women always go for "bad guys" is because they project superior qualities women yearn for: confidence, adventure, popularity. Unfortunately, nice guys just don't convey those things that girls fantasize about.

The worst time to be a nice guy is when you're out for a one-night stand. Girls love to be around men who make them feel passion, excitement, and the extremes of emotion that come from being flirted with madly one minute and left in ice-cold silence and rejection the next. The bastard knows how to play women's hearts like a guitar. The nice guy, on the other hand, often doesn't make a girl feel much of anything. The nice guy engages in a nice, polite, intellectual conversation with a girl, and she's left with the impression that he's ? well, he's a nice guy. How can we expect women to get excited by a guy who doesn't ooze out passion and ravishment? Politeness is a good quality, but it isn't a turn-on.

So what should you do about this? You don't have to ditch your personality and be someone you're not; you just have to adopt bad-boy attitudes while still being a good, honest guy underneath. Be the same nice guy to your friends and family--and a wild, exciting guy to the ladies. Here are five easy ways to dazzle a girl with "bad boy attitude":

1. Get physical. If you tell a woman that you do Tae Kwon Do, have a black belt in karate, or have reformed from your previous life as an amateur rugby player, she's going to immediately assume that you're the kind of guy who could protect her in an emergency. Now, if you're a 135-lb geek with spaghetti arms, she may not believe you, so I recommend that you actually get some martial arts or self defense training. Kick some ass on the football field. Join a gym and get pumped up. Show the woman that you're a warrior, and she'd better believe it, or you'll just move on to the next girl.

2. Make her feel safe. By doing the little things for her, like walking on the part of the sidewalk between her and the street, or keeping an eye open for anything potentially dangerous, or standing up for her immediately when anyone attacks her verbally or physically, she'll learn to TRUST that you, indeed, have a bad guy within you ready to stand up for her and defend her if necessary. Be the guy who straps her in her seatbelt on the roller coaster, or who offers a hand so that she doesn't trip. Trust is built upon these actions.

3. Play on her wild side. As I said before, being successful with babes takes the kind of attitude that isn't afraid of risks. If you're always concerned about being politically correct, perfectly polite, and the kind of gentleman she'd introduce to her folks, you'll see girls slip through your fingers time and time again. Be a little outrageous. Flirt with her shamelessly. Let her know that you find her sexually attractive. Drop hints that will intrigue her. Say something risqu鬠and grin when her mouth drops. They may act shocked, even offended, but believe me: they LOVE it when you tease.

4. Don't let anyone walk over you. You're going to find yourself in confrontational situations from time to time, with everyone watching. Stand up for yourself. Make it clear that you won't put up with that kind of treatment-even from a woman. No one has the right to talk to you in an aggressively confrontational way, lay hands on you, or threaten you. Even though your immediate instinct may be to back down to avoid a scene, quash it. Scenes draw attention, and there are always going to be women in the crowd watching whom you can impress by the way you handle the situation.

5. Develop attitude. I just can't emphasize enough how crucial having a winning, confident attitude is. You don't care what others say. You don't care what others think. No matter how a woman reacts, it just blows right over you. That's because you're always in control. No woman-whether beautiful, popular, or rich-has power over you. You don't need anyone, you're not dependent on anyone, and you don't have to cling to anyone. Got it? Good.

So remember, you don't have to be a bad boy to get girls. You just have to bring bad boy attitude. The five ways to do this are:

Get physical

Make her feel safe

Play on her wild side

Don't let anyone walk over you


So give these methods a try. Work out. Act like her protector. Stand up for yourself. And develop that attitude that says you've got the power to do whatever you want. You'll be irresistible in no time!


James, bestselling author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women" and "The Art of Impressing Women," regularly explores topics of female attraction. Since 2000, he has helped thousands of men around the world build confidence and get the women they deserve. To get your free six-part mini-course, visit:

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